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I have the pleasure of training one of my yummy mummies in Windsor once or twice a week. She lives very centrally, so on fine days we go to the long walk by Windsor castle and do our session outside. Wilson (the Diets Don’t Work Labrador) and Mani (the large French sheepdog) come too, and I also bring my kit bag with my boxing, bands, skipping rope etc as well as the kettlebells. A most unlikely bunch of terrorists one would think. While attaching my rubber tubing resistance bands to the steel fence that borders the Walk, the rather over zealous security chap from the lodge turned up to say that we could not use the fence (security risk!) and in fact should not be exercising in the park. This seemed odd as we were surrounded by joggers, walkers and various other athletic types. Even a cyclist was running the gauntlet (no cycling!). I politely removed my obviously lethal rubber tubing, and despite asking why we could not use the fence for resistance band work got no answer.
So, off we went for a warm up jog. As we came back to base camp the royal protection detail Range Rover zoomed by, out jumped a copper who proceeded to have a poke through my bag. “Human rights!” I hear you cry. He then warned us not to leave a bag unattended (does this include picnic hampers?) as the Queen might be taking a stroll (never) and get hurt by a flying Labrador wielding ninja AL-Qaeda skipping rope.
We grovelled (as one does to grumpy armed officers) and off he went, leaving us feeling harassed.
So beware the long walk and especially bored security types who should possibly be given some gardening to do or some other manual task to keep them occupied. We will continue to fly the flag for personal training outdoors despite the protestations of the fascist state of Berkshire. One would hope that the Queen or at least Charles might read this blog and a) get a personal trainer b) encourage their subjects to exercise, stay healthy, reduce the burden on the NHS and thus free up more resources for the construction of a cycle path down the long walk in Windsor for both personal trainer types and general exercisers too.